Some Call It Women's Intuition, I Call It a Bald Man's Dream

As a man that prefers baldness to a bad hairline, I spend a lot of time in the shower during the week making sure that my head is evenly shaved. This poses a time management issue for me as well as an internal struggle weighing the pros and cons of taking the time to look like a hardass vs. just letting it grow out and getting a haircut once a month like a normal person.

So one of the major problems with shaving my head is that I am a perfectionist and if there is any stubble in a particular area I will keep shaving that section from different angles until the area is smooth. Well needless to say, this leads to a razor burn that would rival the sting of Casanova's urination in his later years.

I was going through my normal beautification process yesterday morning while getting ready for a visit to a customer location. I decided that it would be as good a day as any for shaving my head (due to the razor burn, I try and limit this ritual to once every three days or so). It was at this point that I encountered a slight problem. My current razor (and as I found out, my only remaining razor) was so dull that I could have shaved with sandpaper and gotten the same result. Well normally I would accept this as a defeat and move on to fight the razor burn another day. The only problem is that I realized how dull my razor was only after shaving a nice path down the middle of my head. Not the smartest place to start shaving, but I digress. So in a panic I made a quick decision that resulted in a wonderful life-altering event that I will now store up on the shelf beside memories of my first Brazilian wax, and that one Christmas where I woke up and found my taxi-cab yellow Western Flyer bicycle with the banana seat.

In my haste, I grabbed my wife's Intuition razor and started shaving away. After about 10 swipes that felt like nothing was happening on my head, I ran my fingers along my head to assess the stubble factor where the razor had been. To my ultimate surprise there was no stubble, and better yet, I felt nothing on my head.

I thought this must be too good to be true, so I proceeded to continue shaving in some of the harder areas on my head that consistently result in razor burn (So much so that I can usually feel the onset of razor burn as I am shaving the area). No matter how hard I tried, and no matter where I shaved, it was like a dream... no razor burn, and best of all, it was so smooth that it felt as if I was just running lotion over my head.

At this point I felt as if I had just discovered the secret handshake to get into that tree house I had been eyeing my whole childhood. I felt like I knew the secret hand gesture to women that shave with intuitions, similar to the little hand gesture you always see bikers and volkswagen drivers give each other when they pass on the road.

So instead of the morning fog that usually hangs around in my head for a good hour to start my morning, I felt a little lighter on my feet (could've just been the weight loss of shaving the hair from my head) and had a positive outlook on the day. So I feel the need to interrupt my 10 Days of Horror series to make sure that the men out there everywhere can benefit from my discovery.

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